A controller is the way to go and not play with. The only thing I do is to check the effluent for proper flow rate.
There are a few questions about that I'll try to answer.... I would not consider myself an expert, but I've had a reactor for 5+ years, and suffered most of the problems.
1) Chamber ph. I run 6.5-6.6. I run a single stage reactor, so the effluent ph is just about the same. Some run a second stage on their reactor. This has more media in this stage, with no more additional CO2, so the ph rises before getting back to the tank.
2) Media usage: Media usage is dictated by one thing. Ca/Alk load in the aquarium. CO2 is added to drive the tank water acidic, this changes saturation point of CA/Alk in the water, media is dissolved into the water at some level of equilibrium based on the ph of the water. The amount of media in the reactor and the size of the reactor is important to be sure there is enough contact time to get the Ca/Alk to equilibrium. I don't think you can have too much media, however you are pumping tank water through the media, you do need to keep the reactor clean.
3) CO2 usage: Purely based on effluent rate and the ph your trying to maintain in the reactor.
So here is my reasoning for some of my parameters
1) Very Low effluent rate: Ensures that if my CO2 valve goes crazy, I don't let a crazy amount of low PH water into my tank
2) To compensate for the low effluent rate, I control the reactor ph at 6.5
3) I monitor my tank ALK (Maybe twice a month), if I need to adjust my tank ALK, I just adjust the effluent rate.
4) Occasionally check your probe calibration, this helps to be sure your stable.