I'd like to chime in, if you don't mind...
Stay away from high-velocity rounds. The FN FiveSeven, .357 Sig and the 9mm are very dangerous in places like - umm - parking lots, shopping malls, grocery stores, and anyplace else that has the possibility of someone standing behind the hostile target - soon to be lined in chalk victim... You stand a good chance of penetrating soft tissue and ventilating the bystander.
In my opinion, unless you're a petite flower, stay away from the ultra-compact Glocks and their look-alikes. You have to have some grip.
Hunger is a big guy and can conceal a large pistol - there's absolutely nothing wrong with the .45, but I've met your significant other and that's a lot of pistol for her hands. Get something you both can use.
Not to anger anyone, but these are the weapons I would never, EVER put in my gun safe: S/W XD, tiny Glocks, anything made by Taurus other than a Judge, High Point, Kimber, and several others. I could go into detail, but everyone has an opinion, this is mine, and I respectfully accept everyone elses's. Let's not start a ---- waving contest.
This is my opinion, having carried a weapon in the USAF and testing about 200 pistols before settling on what my wife and I carry:
Spend $ and get a good weapon. Sig, H&K, Armalite, FN, Colt, or Glock. We both carry a US Border Patrol-issue Heckler & Koch .40 P2000SK, with the LEO decock. My opinion, get the decock lever. This allows me to chamber a round and fully decock the weapon safely. If you don't plan on carrying with a round in the chamber, save the money and go on vacation, because by the time you clear the holster and rack the slide to chamber a round, you will be achieving room temperature. Takes too much time. Looks great if you're the star of "24".
Good pistols have indicators on the bolt or ejector that tell you there's a round in the chamber. Get a good pistol. Then, buy the "law enforcement only" (Brady bill crap that is no longer relevant) extended magazines and speedwells if you desire. The speedwell is an extension of the grip that allows for an extended magazine. You want as much ammo as you can carry in that magazine, because it's doubtful that you'll carry an extra.
If you want, you can take my HK's to the range; I'll set up one for .357 Sig, and one for .40. You can also try the custom-modified Glock 19 9mm that I have if you wish. You buy the ammo, I'll clean 'em afterwards. After you and the wife shoot these, well, you'll probably want one. They are nice. PM me if you're interested.
Kev